Intro
Somewhere along the line, beach volleyball's influence spread to the world
of soccer, which is arguably simultaneously the world's most popular and best
team sport but can be a chore to watch. Four on four plus two goal-keepers, in
the sand, on the beach, with "cheerleaders" dancing in the center during
intermissions and pre-game. Sounds like it would be a blast to play, like beach
volleyball, but DreamCatcher's first venture on the Xbox is an unpolished mess
that needed a little, no a lot, more time in the oven. Gameplay:
4/10 Oh, where to begin. The premise here is sound as are some of the fundamentals.
The ball stops on a dime as one would expect in sand and the players are represented
via 32+ teams that you can select from who will be playing in 4 venues, day or
night, in multiple modes of play. One can selectively pass to individuals that
are designated by the player or merely play the ball to whoever is upfield. You
have a few selections to try to dribble or deke by your opponents and have bursts
of speed via your right trigger that will drain you character the more you use
it. The defensive tackles are sorely limited and the passing system seems to work
at inconsistent intervals at best. If you've played EA's FIFA series or
Konami's various soccer entities you will want to stay as far away from this as
humanly possible. Even if you're remotely interested in playing soccer, it's strongly
urged that you play any other soccer game before this one. It's that bad. When
the player closest to the ball is selected by pressing the L1 trigger, he can
be controlled for a time and then for no apparent reason you become someone else.
One repeatedly presses the shoot button and nothing seems to happen but then,
like a tape delay, all of a sudden the player will shoot, and it'll leave you
scratching your head wondering how that happened. The goalie dives in the wrong
direction for balls, refuses to pick a ball up that's right next to him, or throws
the ball directly to your opponents skull who subsequently gets a shot on goal.
There's a "God" power up that rewards with artistic points (?!?) via
a meter and eventually rewards the player (and your opponent, who has a similar
gage) with a limited time gift of your players not getting tired. You'll find
that not only do you not care about getting that reward but that it serves very
little purpose in a game that's so marred and unfinished that you're so busy seeing
everything that's wrong with this title to pay attention to that meter anyway.
If the game is played and the score
is tied, then there's an overtime mode to try to finish the thing with a "golden
goal". Well, god forbid that you don't because the shootout phase in another
exercise in futility as your opponent will miss the net entirely and you'll have
little control of the outcome of the game. Nothing is as frustrating as spending
your time to play a game only to the outcome be determined by something that plays
as well as a coin toss. A similar scenario can be noticed on the free kick where
you inexplicably cannot pass and can only shoot, no matter where you are on the
field - even on the defensive end next to your own goal posts.
Graphics: 6/10 The character models of the players are decent. The
character models of the players are decent. The...wait a minute...those same 4
girls dance annoyingly at the same stages of every game in nearly the same outfits
and they don't do much else. The static loading screens are god awful. The sand
looks like sand, I guess. There's something positive. The players sometimes dance
like...the girls. How strange. You've seen much better things from your neon green
behemoth, trust me. Let's move right along, shall we? Sound:
3/10 The crowd sounds are okay, even if it sounds like you're in a huge stadium
instead of being at the beach (despite that ship's horn you hear in the background
and seagulls over your head) some of the time. Odd instruments will be playing
in the background. The announcer says the same stupid things over and over and
over and over ("the skill was evident there"). The what? "Tremendous
athleticism!", said with about as much enthusiasm as a kid who just got broccoli
at McDonald's. The announcer will also note that the period is about to end despite
the fact that it just started. Could it have been that difficult to scribble a
few more lines to record for this? Didn't the beta and play testers have the mental
faculty to note that this repetition was horrible or that the period just began?
One must wonder how stuff like this gets by and gets out. Please, another round
of coffee for those in charge of testing, they need it. Control:
4/10 Awful. The entire game feels unpolished, unfinished, and controls about
as wheels as Hummer would with manual rack and pinion steering. Everything just
feels wrong and it's evident that if more time were spent with what could've been,
this game would be a lot stronger than it turned out to be. Overall:
3.5/10 This game can't possibly be recommended to anyone as anything other
than an example of a poor sports title and presented as evidence of such to compare
with other titles in the same genre to make you feel better about what you thought
might have been a mediocre game. DreamCatcher might deserve to be given mild applause
for attempting to create "something different", but this title fails
miserably to be the Ultimate anything. Hopefully, if there is another installment
they'll spend a lot more time with it instead of pushing to get it out for the
fourth quarter. A true mess that should be ultimately avoided. [
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