Hey g-ridas, you goin’ to roll with my bitches and niggahs up in this mutha fucka.  Get gully wit it.

If the first sentence made you cringe even the slightest, then 187: Ride or Die isn’t the game for you.  If a mediocre car combat game wrapped up in faux gangsterisms is a concept that sounds even somewhat silly to you, then 187: Ride or Die isn’t the game for you. However, if you’re content with playing a game on mute and ignoring subtitles that contain such linguistic delicacies as “My nizzle – G rida, Buck.” and “Try dat shit again. Protect my shit. Ya heard me?” then you might find a rental…might.

So goes the glamorous life of ghetto misfits. The “street O.G. Dupree,” played by Notorious B.I.G. vocal double Gorilla Black, is shot by his Mexican rival Cortez.  What’s a street O.G. to do when he’s injured and unable to defend his territory, but healthy enough to live an opulent life of vices in a large mansion?  Dupree calls on Buck, played by Larenz Tate (an actor I’ve actually enjoyed in some movies, like Inkwell), “the only guy who can shift gears in street rides, the only guy who can blaze guns combat style.”  - Yes. Combat style.  In this quasi-realistic world gang wars are apparently handled in narrow roads with AK-47s and land minds, with everyone racing down a set path a certain amount of times before throwing their hands up in frustration and going their separate ways.

Buck plays the role of a gun-toting passenger as he and his driver take place in innovative gameplay situations, such as races, deathmatches, and escort missions.  The races have a variety of objectives that switch off randomly; some require you to not finish last on any lap, with the team that does eliminated from that round; another allows for only the use of land minds; while many are the standard race-and-gun sort.  The deathmatch events take place in confined areas,with Buck having two weapons, an assault rifle-looking shotgun and a gatling gun, and a set amount of kills needed for victory.  The escort missions are pretty much what you would expect – not much fun.  There are a few other modes, like running from the police, which is the only mode that doesn’t feature the use of power-ups (weapons, health, etc.), but they are nothing too different from the other gametypes.

The problems are many.  For the races, the game has outrageous rubber-band-style AI - no matter how well you can drive, how judiciously you use your boost (gained from skidding) and your weapons, the other cars will always be right behind you.  Sure, this creates some nail-biting moments, but it’s ultimately frustrating because it makes it takes away the feeling of accomplishment when you increase in skill.  When you have a game that isn’t very good to begin with, taking away one of the staples of game enjoyment isn’t a very good idea.

The deathmatch events were a pain until I realized one thing: the AI is incapable of dodging bullets shot backwards.  That is, you can shoot forward and backward, and while a soft auto lock system will assist you when firing at an enemy in front of you, it’s also very easy for opponents to dodge the fire and counter-attack; but when you’re driving away and firing behind you, there seems to be 100% accuracy rate.  I had to seriously mess up for any reverse fire not to find a target. Also, in this mode more than others, I encountered an annoying tendency of the game to switch the camera angle to one in front of the car, and this was always extremely aggravating and completely pointless and really messed up my representin’. Luckily, weird camera antics were still no match for my offensive retreat technique..

There are staples used in the game that are prevalent in all modes; as well as problems that are just as common. Medals, as noted above, are rewarded for good performance, which leads to additional bonuses in the next round.  Dodging incoming traffic while sliding around land minds and firing a shotgun at a pursuing enemy certainly provides some high moments, but they are fleeting and are tempered by the game’s many problems.  One of the biggest complaints is that the cars all seem to handle alike; while the slippery handling is good to build up the boost, it just doesn’t click when a SUV feels like a sports car. Navigating the many 90-degree turns in a city where even the minimap and TURN arrows aren't enough to keep you abreast of what you need to be doing in a vehicle that always slides around is pretty frustrating. 

The weapons also lack a sufficient amount of ammo, which is a bigger problem than it might initially seem.  When playing a car combat game, half the fun is letting loose with exotic weapons. Well, the weapons aren’t exotic in 187, and you aren't going to be letting all that loose with the pittance of bullets alloted you. The developers picked on thing to keep “realistic” in the entire game, and they picked the worst one. The courses themselves also tend to be very repetitive and restrictive, much like the action, and the largely sheepish public drivers get annoying.  Bland courses and a heavy restriction on weaponry is pretty much the opposite of how a car combat game should be.

In-between the missions you get instructions from Dupree, who has all the eloquence of a groomed statesman. With his congratulations comes the unlocking of the next mission, and car(s). The unlocking is a bit superficial, because it isn’t unlocking so much as simply progressing, but at this point I don’t think anyone cares. The story itself continues along – well, more like limps bloodily, dragging barely-attached appendages – as the tale of vengeance unravels, but it’s really inconsequential.  The main selling point of the game won’t be its yarn, but its audio and graphics.  While the voice-overs fail to live up to the billed talent, with repeated lines and dialogue delivered with the force of a half-asleep actor, the graphics manage to pretty things up a bit.  The game is actually reminiscent of Burnout 3, with sparks flying about and kills being shown in slowmotion, though not as good looking, nor as well designed: the game tries to compensate for taking control away from you during the kill scenes by putting you on a good footing when it relinquishes the control, but reorienting yourself can be pretty difficult when you’re prepared to finish a turn and find yourself in the middle of a straightaway.

The multiplayer modes feature one player driving and the other shooting in story mode, as well as multiplayer over one system and Xbox Live.  The game limits what can be used by what the host has unlocked, which means those who actually put the time into the game won’t always get to benefit from their labor when it comes time to throw down. Holmes. 

Sorry, I couldn’t resist.

Overall: 4/10

Played on mute, this game can be, at best, tolerable.  Honestly, if you want car combat, just buy a Grand Theft Auto title. If you dislike the GTA serious but still want more over-the-top racing, check out Burnout 3, Wreckless: The Yakuza Missions, or Chase: Hollywood Stunt Driver; for racing combat there is Quantum Redshift, SpyHunter, or Crash Team Racing.  While not all of the aforementioned recommendations will suit all tastes, they are all better than this offering and can be had at bargain prices.  Though, the biggest problem with 187: Ride or Die isn’t the hammy gangster approach or the bored actors or the minuscule vehicle differences, it’s that it gets very boring very quickly.