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Intro
Let's see…I've got the shoes, the fly clothes, the cooler full of Sprite,
and some mad bling bling; what else do I need to be the ultimate street baller?
Wait, I know: "mad skillz!" Let's face it, I have the basketball ability
of a two-year-old with a full load in the trunk, and unfortunately, Activision's
latest baller suffers from a similar problem. If looks were all that mattered
in the Street Hoops universe, Activision could score from downtown without
even trying. Street Hoops looks the part, even in its PS2 form, but when
it comes to actually lacing up those $200 high tops and hitting the courts, it's
a whole different story.
Despite what
Nike has been trying to tell aspiring hoops stars for years, the secret of being
the next Air Jordan is not in the shoes, the clothes, the gold, or anything else
you can pick up at the mall. It's in the hands, feet and blood of the athlete.
Having been to several live Street Hoops style tournaments (I live about
2 hours from both New York City and Philadelphia), I can honestly attest to the
fact that these guys have game -- serious game. I'd be willing to bet they could
break off an NBA player at the ankles if they ever got the chance to play street
style hoops against them.
Gameplay: 5/10
The guys at
Black Ops obviously went to great lengths to make everything about Street Hoops
look and feel like the real thing, even going so far as to license star street
ballers like Half Man - Half Amazing, Main Event, Speedy, and Hot Sauce. This
dedication to the reality of the game really shows not only in the true-to-life
courts, which include legendary street courts like Rucker Park, Venice Beach,
and Jackson Park, but also the style, attitude and mood of the street baller.
To some, that attention to "realism" might smack a bit of racial stereotyping,
especially when it comes to the off-the-court "street" elements.
Playing -- struggling is more like it, but I'll get to that -- through the
world circuit mode earns you cash as you win. But the real money is to be made
and spent off the court. On the "street" you'll be able to slip into
the local barber shop for a new 'do, hit the check cashing store to place bets
on your team (Win, lose, most 3 pointers, lead at the half, etc.), or slip into
the pawnshop to score the "mad bling bling". And by "mad"
we mean it: there's even a $200K diamond-encrusted watch chain in there if you
can earn the cash for it. The fact is that everyone you meet off the courts is
horribly stereotyped, the guy at the pawn shop perhaps worst of all. I get nervous
and check my wallet when I go in there.
No matter how you cut it, you'll
eventually have to take to the courts and prove that you have the skills to match
the threads. It's here that Street Hoops turns into the kid who was always
getting his shoes thrown over the backboard. It's not that it's a totally unplayable
game; it's not. However, the underlying basketball engine is so rickety that it
simply doesn't measure up to the rest of the game. The engine is skewed towards
an arcade style of play, as it should be: street ballers are all about "show
time" and as the game will repeatedly inform you, "We don' wanna see
no lay-ups out here!" Granted, there are some slick animations that accompany
your deke and spin moves, but pulling them off and regaining control of your player
isn't always possible: once an animation starts, it has to finish and anything
that happens before, during or after is ignored.
Defensive rebounds
in the paint are a prime example. Snag a rebound and your player will try to shrug
off any opponents so that you can get a pass-off. The problem is he'll always
try to shake an opponent, even if there aren't any within ten feet, and if you
try to steal the ball while he's doing this, it won't work. The animation is in
control, and all you get to do is watch.
Watching is exactly what you
spend a lot of time doing. Watching the CPU sink three pointers from insane distances
and angles while your players have a tough time making perfect shots from the
foul line. Watching the CPU steal the ball while you try to pull a spin move,
something you'll rarely be able to pull off. Watching the CPU dunk on you at anytime
it feels like it, while you sit helplessly by. Watching the CPU block your dunk,
despite having had a clear lane for the last five feet. At some point, you'll
simply give up trying to make things happen and just start smashing buttons in
frustration. As fate would have it, this works much better than you'd think.
It's a shame, really, as Street Hoops has tons of play modes and options.
Aside from the tournament mode, you can play pick-up games, 3 on 3, 4 on 4 or
5 on 5. You can even create your own player and train them up to be a "Mad
Balla"; unfortunately, you'll always be running into the screwy basketball
engine. You can win, but you'll have to adjust to all of the quirks and oddities
of the engine to do so. Once you accept that your players seem to be on some weird
half-second time delay and will always jump the wrong way to block a shot, you
can learn to adjust your play style and start earning money to spend on the street.
I just wish someone would have spent more money on some hoops lessons.
Graphics: 5.5/10
Much kudos to the developers for getting the look
and feel of street balling into a game form; twice the "dis" for making
it out to be some horribly stereotyped "urban life" statement. While
some of the animations such as dunks and jukes are simply amazing, others are
somewhat pointless and seem to run no matter the situation, including rebounds.
There's also a weird "force field" effect around players and the ball
itself: for a distance of about eight to twelve pixels, there's this barrier that
prevents everything from ever touching anything else. The result is this weird
sense that everything is just a little disconnected, as the ball always seems
to hover just slightly above your player's hand, and other players seem to bounce
off you just before you actually hit them. Maybe that's why the timing of moves
and animations always seems just a little off.
Sound:
6/10
With a sound track that includes DMX, Method Man, and Cypress Hill,
Street Hoops at least has the music right. Where the audio dies a terrible death
is in the announcing. Los Angeles DJ Bad Boi offers up witty comments on the game
as you play, but after three minutes you'll be reaching for the volume control.
It takes half that time to hear every comment he has and the other half to get
sick of it. Score twice with the same player and you'll never hear another comment
from the Bad Boi other than "Is it me, or does he score EVERY time he gets
the ball?" In a game where each player on the court can score five to ten
times a game, it gets old faster than Britney Spears. It's barely even worth mentioning
other in-game sounds, as they're a bit on the light side, and player taunts are
poorly voiced. At least the music saves this shoddy category. Control:
5/10
Pick a button, any button. Hit it a few times, press X then O and hope.
You either just picked up two, or you're chasing the CPU down the court the other
way. Don't worry about skill or technique; you won't need any. Just remember:
Juke, Spin, Pass, Pass, Spin, SLAM. This almost always works, so don't bother
shooting the threes or trying to block shots. The controls are so laggy that you'll
spend forever getting the timing down, and the player will usually jump the wrong
way anyway. Wait for the rebound, or better, just wait until they score then follow
the procedure above; it's sad that the controls can be summed up this way, but
it's true.
Overall:
5/10
In grammar, the adjective enhances the subject, so Street Hoops
should be a basketball game enhanced with plenty of street attitude. Unfortunately,
it's more like Hoops Street, a "street" game with some basketball added
to it. If you're big into the whole street scene, this might hold some interest
for you, but if you're looking for some arcade-style hoops action with an authentic
street feel and style, you're looking at the wrong game. Given, Street Hoops
isn't bad as a "pick-up" title to kill a little time with a game or
two. However, trying to get into the game and complete all its modes and create
a baller simply isn't worth the risk to your controller or your TV, as the pitiful
game mechanics and incredibly shoddy controls guarantee that something is going
to get thrown.
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