In the time it is going to take me to write this opening paragraph, I would have fought roughly 9,982 battles in Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel. Writing this opening paragraph is also roughly one hundred times more entertaining than playing Inuyasha: Secret of the Divine Jewel. Fans of the series can go ahead and stop now, you’ll buy this regardless, but DS owners rummaging around for a new role-playing game will want to continue reading.

Based off the popular animated series that I am completely unfamiliar with, Secret of the Divine Jewel follows the adventures of a group of teenagers traveling around modern day and mythical feudal Japan, fighting demons and meetings gods. Starting off as Janis, an American transfer student, you find yourself traveling to another realm after checking on a sick friend, Kagome. Kagome is a frequent traveler between the periods, dabbling in magic and gallivanting around with a teenage half-demon fighter, mages, and scrappers – a ready-made party.

Wait.

You can’t go just yet, you have to fight some zombies. Okay, now you can … wait. Wait. You have to fight some giant centipedes. Okay, here w—no. You now have to fight Random Shelled Creature. Now. Finally. Let’s … wait.

If you rolled your eyes at the previous sentences, then you have a feeling of what it’s like to play Secret of the Divine Jewel. The encounter rate is so high that even the smallest area and simplest task will result in heavy sighs, grunts, and all sorts of obnoxious gestures of irritation. A majority of the time, every third step is a battle. Dashing only gives the illusion that you’re making progress. If you manage to go about five feet without fighting, the game will then immediately make you fight a battle per step for the next two or three feet. It was a treat to go half a screen without incident. And it isn’t that the combat is so compelling that the numerous fights are worth it, the combat is actually very simple.

Parties travel through towns and the world map with one of the members representing the group. The party representative can change to any character, and that serves a useful purpose in that it allows you to access items and popular spells (healing) quickly. Enemies are often invisible, and combat is broken up with one group on the top screen and the other on the bottom. The order of combat is random, which is particularly frustrating because it makes coming up with a strategy near impossible. Attacking and defending is often a team affair with other party members available to aid in attacking by following up your blow with one of theirs and defending by taking a hit for the acting character. Unfortunately, aside from Janis, characters do not get new spells and abilities as they level up, so you literally have a ready-made party from the get-go. Combat is often tedious, with numerous enemies being dispatched by means of multi-target spells and the stragglers being assaulted one by one with powerful attacks. Even the helping system can’t save the fighting engine; after a while, you just want it all to end.

A game that has an encounter every few feet should at least reward you or be quick about things, right? Since you don’t upgrade weapons or clothing, the only loot you’ll get are power-up jewels and healing items. Not very exciting. As far as being quick about things, you can look forward to maze-like dungeons that offer no rewards for your lengthy, if accidental, side trips.

There really isn’t much else to the game besides combat. Players who aren’t fans of the show won’t be won over by the tedious banter and small touches, like InuYasha turning human when the moon’s out. The two mythical Japanese eras aren’t particularly interesting, nor is the random modern day bits. It’s really just one long drawn-out fight.

Overall: 2/10